you're the only friend i need: remember, forever

[elisu]

'the carousels that ran, as gently as a waltz,
and the bright ferris wheel,
silently, secretly, they all come to a halt.
i hope this night can go on endlessly
and end up making one small wish.'

remember forever was my debut piece. a rather unexpected one too, at that. i remember sitting in the library doing something else and then this idea hitting me like a truck and just having to write it all in one day. i wrote maybe three quarters of it at the library, stayed up late to finish it that night, and then woke up at five in the morning to post. (i tend to wake up early when i'm very excited). i very vividly remember opening my phone to see my very first comments in the backseat of a taxi. i couldn't stop smiling for days. 

i hold this memory and this fic very close to my heart. i think it was so easy for me to write it because it was the kind of feeling i'd had for years but didn't quite know how to express. writing and sending it out into the world was kind of like catharsis. at the time i wrote it, everyone was also still uncertain about 6/7dream and the whole graduation dilemma and everything just kind of fell into place. i think i reread the fic at least twenty times before posting. (that's how much i liked it!) which is endearing to think about, considering a lot of what i write now is just [write. edit as i write. throw out into the void]. but. much excitement! this fic is my baby. 

there comes a time of year (and this Consistently happens) when i get all sentimental and nostalgic and all i want to do is remember things and hug my friends and talk on and on about how far we've come and now that it's september and i'm at home doing... nothing i really do miss that feeling. i think this piece says a lot about who i am as a person and my love for found family and bittersweet endings. and chenji! god i love chenji.